Poly/Not Poly: Adventures in Relationship Structure Ambivalence
Poly/Not Poly is an A6 sized black and white perzine about polyamory and, well, not polyamory.
With an introduction of a single sentence, Kristy gets right into the subject matter on page one with how they discovered polyamory existed. From there Kristy explores polyamory and how somewhat indirectly participating can be confusing to people.
Even though feelings of anxiety and doubts are involved, I really enjoyed reading Kristy’s perspective. I’ve known people and come across the ‘I have multiple partners and so does my partner’ point of view, but Kristy writes about what it’s like to have one partner but is okay with that partner having someone else as well.
(I feel like I’m being less than ideally clear, so more points to Kristy for a clear, engaging zine.)
Poly/Not Poly is not all sunshine and roses, however, with Kristy getting into some of the anxieties that can come with a partner who is polyamorous. Kristy admits to being ‘mostly okay’ with their partner having partners but that this can aggravate anxiety at times. I really admired Kristy’s ability to separate their own anxieties from their partners actions. As in Kristy sees the anxieties coming from within rather than being the fault of the partner. It’s a complicated but important thing to learn.
Not only that, there is dealing with the people who think that if things aren’t ‘equally’ polyamorous on both sides, then something is wrong.
Kristy’s writing is candid, open, and, at times, quite funny. I chuckled at this:
“Interestingly, my girlfriend is also very into soccer, but no one seems to have the same worries that I am compromising my identity by being up for going to watch a match with her.”
Poly/Not Poly is not what I expected, but it is a zine I am very glad to have read and to now have in my collection.
PS. This zine made me remember a webcomic I adore (Girls With Slingshots). It has since ended, but Jamie explores a lot of different kinds of relationships.