Category: Off Topic

I’m hitting a blank here.

I think I’ve hit the Monday evening slump. It’s a little after 5pm as I’m typing this, and my get up and go has definitely got up and gone. Whoops.

More and more, I’m coming to see that 2016 is going to be, well and truly, a strange and occasionally emotional year for me. I got on Facebook this morning to find many people had posted pictures and memes in celebration of Siblings Day. I did smile, even while I was trying to remember if so many people had posted about it last year. But then my smile died a little when I thought about family, and how that word means something different to me these days.

I posted this:

Apparently it’s Siblings Day. So here’s to all my sisters from other misters and brothers from other mothers. Blood is biology; family is time, effort and giving a damn – a big, important damn. Here’s to each and every one of you who invited me to be part of your lives and showed me what family truly is.

What I didn’t post was how it took my breath away when I remembered that it’s been nearly ten years since either of the men I used to call family have spoken to me. I gave up writing letters a long time ago, but in that moment of clarity, it hit me exactly how long ago that time was.

I don’t know how many biological nieces and nephews I have, though I could guess. I don’t know all their names or how their doing. I don’t know if they realise they have an aunt who loves them even if their parents don’t let me get to know them. I don’t know what those men look like or who they are in their thirties. They are forever frozen in my mind in their early twenties.

Maybe it’s better that way.

But there are people out there who love me. People who would adopt me even at my age. People who are proud to call me sister even though biology says it isn’t so. And the thing is, I AM an aunt to two boys and a girl who have never met me but know their aunty in Australia never misses a birthday postcard (even if they get there a little late sometimes).

So here’s to siblings, by blood or by love alone.

And here’s to a strange, Monday evening soapbox speech because sometimes even a zine blog needs a bit of variety. 😉

Last week I talked about depression starting to get the better of me. Thanks to the power of scheduled posting as well as knowing when to give in and sleep however much I needed to sleep, things are looking brighter.

Not literally, though. It’s quite overcast and dreary out. You win some, you lose some.

I did go out for groceries with Wanderer and almost completely melted into a puddle of tears, so I know that I need to take things easy on myself and not rush back into ‘normal’. I let go (mostly) of what I thought I ‘should’ be doing and went with the flow. A flow that led me to sleeping more on Easter than I have in a long time, but that’s okay.

A lot of good things have been happening, though, to help lift things. Where I may not be able to help some friends in dark times, I am able to help others in need. The generosity of people who donated to my Kickstarter so far is wonderful. I might not reach the goal, but I’ll still have a good feeling about the generosity of strangers.

Onward.

Week two of temperatures in the 30s.

For my Fahrenheit friends:

Sunday: 102.2
Monday: 100.4
Tuesday: 100.4
Wednesday: 98.6
Thursday: 96.8
Friday: 98.6
Saturday: 91.4

Sometimes, it’s simply not possible to say something better yourself:

Guys… telling a woman she shouldn’t wear yoga pants in public because she’s overweight is something that should never happen. Especially when you follow it up with the fact that it’s nothing to do with how it makes her feel, but she shouldn’t wear them because it’s hurting YOUR eyes. I don’t care if you meant it as a joke or not. You’re a prick and fuck you. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people? What’s happening to common sense and manners?

Source: time for a beatdown

Because men get hit, too.

I was abused for the first twenty years of my life by my own mother. I lost most of my biological family after I ‘came out’.

No regrets.

I wanted to put this in the comments of one of LogPoes‘ recent posts. I couldn’t, so I’m putting it here.

Apologies to the offended. I think words are only as powerful as the power we give them, but I also don’t want to run around pissing my readers off. I want you to come back.

At the time I’m starting to write this, there’s about seven and a half hours before 2016 crashes over my timezone like the inevitable wave that it is. I like New Year’s. I feel like it’s a real holiday where we celebrate because we’re happy to be alive – and happy to have a fresh start. (Be it possibly only a psychological one.)

A lot about tonight and the coming days will focus on all the things that people want to accomplish in the coming year. I think that’s beautiful. I have a few goals myself, including more time spent here on this blog doing things I love.

But I want to do something a smidge different for my New Year’s Wishes here on SGZ. I have some wishes for you in your new year.

• I wish for you to never feel like you are alone in this world.
• I wish for you to find joy in the little things.
• I wish for you to find the strength to ask for help when you need it…
• …and to have the strength to give it when you can.
• I wish for you to always have a place where you feel safe.
• I wish for your friendships – whether many or few – to have great meaning and love.
• I wish for you to remember that it’s okay. To be. To feel. To want. To love. To dislike. It’s okay.
• I wish for you to have great, wonderful happy moments.
• But more than that, I wish for you to find contentment and peace in your Self.

Happy New Year, beautiful people.

Ugh. For a few days now, it’s been hot enough to be uncomfortable and to make contemplating doing much a big effort. This ^^ isn’t too bad (about 93F), but it’s not very nice. (It’s also a bit late in the game, Australia-wise. We should have been getting this kind of weather in October.)

Anywho, best laid plans not so laid well in the face of heat and needing to move away from the aircon.

Here’s the thing: I turn 30 in a bit under a year. I want to create a ‘thirty things to accomplish before I turn thirty’ list because I think it would be fun.

Whenever I start, though, it turns into my current to-do list. Bah.

So tell me your suggestions! I don’t promise to do them, but I do promise to have a good think about whether it/they should be on the list. So far I’ve had suggestions like watch the sun rise on the beach, go skinny dipping, and learn a different language. I’m also looking for food/drinks to try and other experiences. I’m not exactly rich, so I can’t fly to Japan or anything, but I’ll sort that all out once I have plenty of suggestions to choose from.

Have at it!