I’m hitting a blank here.
I think I’ve hit the Monday evening slump. It’s a little after 5pm as I’m typing this, and my get up and go has definitely got up and gone. Whoops.
More and more, I’m coming to see that 2016 is going to be, well and truly, a strange and occasionally emotional year for me. I got on Facebook this morning to find many people had posted pictures and memes in celebration of Siblings Day. I did smile, even while I was trying to remember if so many people had posted about it last year. But then my smile died a little when I thought about family, and how that word means something different to me these days.
I posted this:
Apparently it’s Siblings Day. So here’s to all my sisters from other misters and brothers from other mothers. Blood is biology; family is time, effort and giving a damn – a big, important damn. Here’s to each and every one of you who invited me to be part of your lives and showed me what family truly is.
What I didn’t post was how it took my breath away when I remembered that it’s been nearly ten years since either of the men I used to call family have spoken to me. I gave up writing letters a long time ago, but in that moment of clarity, it hit me exactly how long ago that time was.
I don’t know how many biological nieces and nephews I have, though I could guess. I don’t know all their names or how their doing. I don’t know if they realise they have an aunt who loves them even if their parents don’t let me get to know them. I don’t know what those men look like or who they are in their thirties. They are forever frozen in my mind in their early twenties.
Maybe it’s better that way.
But there are people out there who love me. People who would adopt me even at my age. People who are proud to call me sister even though biology says it isn’t so. And the thing is, I AM an aunt to two boys and a girl who have never met me but know their aunty in Australia never misses a birthday postcard (even if they get there a little late sometimes).
So here’s to siblings, by blood or by love alone.
And here’s to a strange, Monday evening soapbox speech because sometimes even a zine blog needs a bit of variety. 😉