Month: September 2015

Ah, Zine Ninja. He does love a romp through the tulips.

Kickass and I went for a bit of a walkabout today, enjoying the local tulip show-of-sorts and some nice weather. She puts up with my rambling, and I bask in her awesomeness. It really works out as a great friendship.

She’s the kind of person who will always encourage me unless she thinks it’s a really stupid idea. Even then, she’ll very nicely lay out the reasons why said action might not be the best thing. I’ve needed someone like that, because I’m at a phase where I’m not clear on the direction I want to go in.

However, there is something that I’ve been wanting to do in terms of mail… I’ll have to see how things go tomorrow (heaps to do!) but there might be a brand new shiny thing here on the blog. Maybe.

Until then…

I realise now that a good portion of my day-to-day happiness depends on the mail. Sending it, receiving it. I obviously need to send out more mail because my post box has been a very sad post box.

On another note, I updated the cover photo for the SGZ Facebook page. Tee hee!

I feel like I have recovered from completely running out of spoons, and the whole experience gave me some perspective.

Something I’d really like to do here is add more of me. Nyx. My life. I got so wrapped up in this idea of ‘you can’t make anything (social media account, YouTube channel, etc) really take off unless it’s specialised’. Meaning sticks to one subject. There have been plenty of times in the past when I could have posted something here but didn’t because it wasn’t really zine related.

But what’s the point in that? What’s the point of self-censorship? What’s the point of keeping my fingers still (does that work? ‘keeping my mouth shut’ doesn’t really work) when there is *nothing* riding on me keeping this place all about the zines?

I want to make friends here. It’s something I have trouble doing face-to-face, so I love connecting in these sorts of spaces.

I love memes, being silly, and making people laugh. But I get so wrapped up in what I think I ‘should’ be doing that I forget that no one gives a solitary fuck and is looking over my shoulder. Even if they were, they would simply click away, and I would never know.

So where’s the harm?

Well. Didn’t this turn into a much longer post than I intended…

Anyway, I hope your universe is treating you well and that you feel cool checking out mine.

I’m going to go have an ice cream now.

I ran out of spoons before noon today. Ugh.

I went back to bed – despite the beautiful day – to see if I could rustle up a few more. Wanderer was great. I don’t think he even knew what I was on about, but he jumped into bed, played ‘little spoon’ for a while, got out of bed, said: “Consider yourself spooned”, and went on his merry way.

For someone in the position I’m in, I don’t think a lot about how many spoons I have or how I’m using them. Thanks to my bipolar, the number of spoons I have from day to day can vary a lot.

This week? The spoon gods have not been generous.

The thing is, I don’t want to apologise anymore. I don’t want to feel guilty. Spoon supply issues are spoon supply issues. I don’t think I’m breaking any hearts by not posting here as much as I want to.

More than that, I want to reach out and say hello to those who don’t have a lot of spoons to spare. For you to use up a spoon on reading my ramblings here is an honour that I am not equipped to accurately describe in words.

You are amazing. I wish I could give you spoons.

Spoons for all.

Zine Ninja approves.

(You have no idea what I’m on about? Read The Spoon Theory.)

Aw, duck. And I was doing so well with keeping up with the ol’ zine reviews on Thursdays and Fridays.

I was so, so sore and tired on Thursday and Friday, and I didn’t want to bring that to the zines I’m going to review. I didn’t feel like that was the right energy (or lack thereof) to have while reviewing. Maybe I think too much about it, but I want to be the reviewer that I would reviewing my zines.

Ugh. Trying to brain and make the words.

I’ve been trying to focus on my health this week and figuring out if this mystical ‘10,000 steps’ thing is something doable in the World of Nyx. The Nyxus. I’m keeping that. The Nyxus is made up of writing books, making zines, doing graphic design and book design work, play time consisting of PC games… I think you can see where I’m going. My work, my play… A lot of it involves sitting down.

I did have a go at some 10,000 step days – hence the being so sore stuff. It was a good kind of pain, though, if you know what I mean. I earned it.

So that’s what I’ve been up to. It takes me hours of walking to get that many steps, which meant my work stuff got pushed back. I’m still trying to sort out the whole ‘how to be healthy and get my work done’ (no, I cannot afford to build or buy a standing/treadmill/whatever desk), but I am trying to do it in a way that will still let me keep up with the blog here (because I big fuzzy love hearts this place and all the people who pop by) as well as do the things I want to do.

I hope everyone has been doing well. If you haven’t been, I hope you have some awesome comfort ____. Whatever it takes to remind you that you are awesome.

My friend, Kickass, is amazing and got me a f*cking dragon friendship ring.

DRAGON FRIENDSHIP RING

It totally goes with the tattoo on my back.

29 is not too old for a friendship ring. Pft.

No happy mail today – and the local post office is under construction to boot! – but not all was lost. It’s hard to be grumpy on such a beautiful day. Zine Ninja and I have been soaking up the sunshine – even if we don’t get as much work done.